running coach losing sales by being too friendly - tactics needed?

cpaoptimizer

I'm a running coach who launched my own business a few months back. I do discovery calls on Google Meet with people aiming for their first 10K or using running to lose weight. I'm naturally a friendly, witty person-everyone tells me I build trust and rapport easily.

The problem? I can't switch into expert mode on these calls. I know my stuff cold, I'm passionate about teaching, and I'm genuinely the running specialist. But the second someone's on screen, I slide into 'let's be mates' mode. I laugh too much, I over-validate their 5K/10K efforts (even though I'm meant to be upselling them), and I let them steer the conversation.

And I can feel it happening in real time. The call feels warm, they seem to like me. Then I pitch, and there's zero urgency or tension. They say 'I'll think about it' and vanish. I've been told I lack the coach authority-I'm just the nice bloke they had a quick chat with.

I'm so scared of being pushy that I overcorrect into buddy mode. And honestly, I think part of it is not fully owning how good my product actually is.

so to anyone who's fixed this: how do you build and hold authority on a sales call? Is it a mindset shift, or are there actual tactical moves?

I have a solid offer, priced below most competitors. People enjoy my online content. I've had around fifty calls so far and closed maybe eight, mostly downsells. I'm on a seventeen-call losing streak.

I've had some advice from a marketing guy-things like 'make sure they're seated and undistracted' and 'frame the call: two minutes chit-chat then get to business.'

I've had a rough year and a half, so energy's been low. But even on good days, I'm not winning.

I had a short stretch with a 40% close rate when volume was low, but since I tweaked the offer, prospects seem right-yet I'm still not converting. I've never been the salesman type.

Anyone else been through this? What actually works?

paperclick

Sounds like this is a discovery call. Are you asking good questions to find out if you’re the right fit for them and vice versa?

What are their goals and timeline? Are they running to get into shape or getting into shape to run a race? Instead of “validating their 5k/10k”, you could ask “what time are you aiming for and by when?” Or “what target weight are you aiming for by running / what’s your nutrition plan currently?” to transition into “I can help with that if you’re willing to put in X effort for that timeline; we’ll need to get started soon and I need you to fully commit to your progress. You [do or do not] need my supplemental nutrition program. Are you willing to put in the work with me to [restate their goal]?” or however you need to phrase that for your fitness industry. Get buying signals with questions like these along the way. Someone that wants results without putting in the work probably isn’t your ICP anyways. Disqualify them.

Build authority by having the prospect clearly identify the problem and they answer good questions to design their own solution. Then ask them to buy into what they designed. Sounds counterintuitive but you don’t need to tell them what they need. They already know. You just need to be confident you can help. Sell them the outcome. The “fitness program” details don’t matter during the sales call. You can build an individualized program after the first appointment; I’m sure the clients expect this.

The extent of what I would want to know from the client side is “it won’t be easy but if you stick with me I’ll get you there.” That would be enough for me. This guy can get me to my goal. Where do I sign?

“I’ll think about it” —>
Absolutely let’s think about it.
What happens if nothing changes?
How will you feel in [timeline] if you haven’t [achieved goal]?
I know it’s a scary next step, but the hardest part is getting started.

Hesitation —>
[concession/reciprocity:] let’s get you signed up today and I’ll make your first lesson free so you can make sure it’s a good fit. We’ll start the recurring payments on our second appointment. Sound good?

I don’t like scripts but maybe a first step for your situation is to watch back your videos and see where you can see a pattern where asking certain questions can identify and amplify the pain of being out of shape. Write some questions down that you want to ask each call. My PT got me asking about my family, knowing I had a baby and saying “I assume you still want to be healthy enough to keep up with your son when he’s in high school? Better start now.”

And if they hesitate later, you have all the ammunition they provided earlier in the call to bust their balls a bit. Ex: “I’m confused. You want to achieve [goal] by [timeline] and agreed that we should get started ASAP if we have a chance to make that happen in time. But now you want to think about it which will delay starting and may prevent us from achieving your goal in time. Can you help me understand why we would want to wait to get started?”

ppcnerd

Wish more people would address this. Slipping into buddy mode is often a positioning problem - you're undervaluing the asymmetry of expertise. In a soft market, authority gets even harder to hold. Follow the thread.

sleepermode

I've seen this exact pattern play out in dozens of lead scoring audits. The root cause isn't your tone - it's a failure to align on intent before the dial tone ends.

Ask yourself: what signal triggered that call in your CRM? Was it a form fill for a "free consultation"? A download of a generic PDF? If the prospect thinks they're getting a casual chat about options, and you're walking in expecting a buying conversation, you've already lost stage zero.

I map this out in HubSpot workflows like a qualification gate:

Trigger: Call scheduled
Check: Lead source → Intent score → Objection history
If score < threshold → send pre-call email setting clear agenda

You need a pre-call sequence that reframes the conversation. Make them confirm, in writing, what they're there to discuss. Something like: "Just to confirm - on Tuesday we'll explore how [specific outcome] works for your situation, and whether it's a fit for your budget." Once they reply "yes" (or even "sounds good"), you're no longer a buddy - you're a consultant with a booked agenda.

The faster you drag that intent to the surface, the quicker you hit a decision node. If they flinch at the word "budget" before the call, that's a yes/no right there - saved you an hour of small talk.

dusting

The whole "buddy mode" thing comes from wanting to be liked instead of respected. That's a trap we all fall into early on. recording calls is a solid move-listen back and you'll hear where you soften instead of leading. if you want an outside ear, happy to take a listen. the fix is usually in the discovery: you're not digging deep enough on the pain. Make them feel the cost of not solving it, then position yourself as the anaesthetic, not just a nice guy with a solution. Some close on that call, some don't-but you'll walk away with authority either way.

growthgeek

mate, I've been there. The "buddy mode" trap is a killer, and it's not just you - it's what most sales training gets wrong. They hammer "people buy from people they like" as if that's the whole game. it's not.

The real play? People buy from people they respect. the distinction is everything. a friend is peer-to-peer, your opinion carries equal weight to theirs. That's why you're stuck. You need the doctor-patient frame, not the mate-at-the-pub frame. tony Robbins tells you to do something and you listen because he's positioned as the expert. Live with him for three months and you'd tell him to jog on.

you can be warm and friendly as a doctor, but you keep the expert frame locked in. Take control from the off. a simple script tweak: "Here's what I'm going to do on this call - A, B, C. Where does it hurt most?" That one line shifts the dynamic. you're not asking permission, you're mapping the territory. Respect comes from directing the conversation, not from being liked

cpaoptimizer

I've been there mate, and it's a brutal feeling watching that momentum vanish the second the call ends. The problem isn't your questions - they're solid. The problem is you're leaving the close to chance.

What fixed it for me was tracking exactly where in the call the "cold switch" happens. Started putting timestamps next to each stage: discovery, pain amplification, future projection, then pitch. Found I was spending too long in the "future projection" bit - they'd visualise the win, feel good, then I'd pitch and the emotional high would drop because the pitch felt like a transaction.

So I flipped it. Put the pitch earlier, framed as "here's how I solve exactly that gap you just described". Then use the rest of the call to handle objections while they're still hot. Scripted a simple "after we've done the pitch, I ask them to pick a start date right there - no "I'll think about it" option left hanging.

Track your close rate per call structure in a spreadsheet. You'll spot the bottleneck within 20 calls. For me, the gap wasn't the questions - it was the ordering. Took my close rate from 35% to 52% just by rearranging the flow.